I don’t usually post much about my recovery but I think it’s important to tell my followers or whoever. So after being clean and sober for almost 3 years, I relapsed. I thought that maybe I can do it again and this time I can control it, but it was not true and it will never be true. Being young and being in sobriety and being clean is really hard for me to accept and do but, I have to because I this disease lives within me. The day after I got high, I already wanted more and was planning when to do it again. I honestly wanted to do anything that involved self destruction and was already starting. My friends are already asking me if I want to get high and drink with them and with every disease driven cell want to say yes. I woke up the addict inside and it’s going to be really hard trying to shut it up or calm it down. I don’t want to go back to the person I was 3 years ago, that person scares the shit out of me, nor do I want to lose everything I have fought so hard to get. So I’m gunna need a lot of support and recovering vibes sent my way because I honestly cannot do this alone.
(Source: , via itsrecoverymama)